A Rwandan wedding introduction

On Saturday afternoon we were privileged to attend a traditional Introduction ceremony.

This is the first stage of a Rwandan wedding. It usually takes place a week or two before the actual wedding but it is starting to be common to do it on the same day. Traditionally it's when the groom's father asks the bride's father for permission to marry, offering gifts of cattle, and the two fathers negotiate the terms of the wedding.

The bride's side

The bride and groom both work at DGIE and we've never met them. But everyone gets invited at least to the Introduction and as we are temporary members of the DGIE family an invitation was extended to us (at the strong suggestion of the Director-General we believe).

It was scheduled to start at 2pm so Ange, the Communications and Public Relations Officer, and Gladys, the head of HR, arranged to pick us up at 1.30. During the morning Ange let us know that it has been put back to 3pm (not uncommon I believe) so they ended up picking us up at 2.30. Julie looked resplendent in her mushanana - the traditional Rwandan formal dress which she had been given last year when she was here. I looked semi-resplendent in my suit and tie (despite the warm weather).

The groom's side

The ceremony was in a religious centre on the outskirts of Kigali, past the airport. To reach it we turned off a perfectly good sealed road and made our way up one of the typical rough gravel roads to the centre on the top of a hill. (I've noticed that you don't have to move far from the main roads to find a very rough and usually steep gravel road).

Note: before I give a brief description of the ceremony, I have to give a disclaimer that this is based on my understanding and my memory of what went on, both of which are imperfect, so I don't present as a comprehensive explanation of what goes on at these things.

The two families and their guests faced each other across the yard, each under their own marquee. We were seated with the bride's family.Under the command of an emcee, the groom's father approached the bride's father with a gift of wine and asked him to welcome his son into their family. At this stage neither the bride not the groom had appeared.

The two fathers then entered into, from their respective sides of the yard, a long negotiation. It may have once been a serious negotiation about cattle and chattels, but nowadays it's a good-natured and very funny to-and-fro-ing between the two. I know it was funny because everyone was laughing and clapping. We of course didn't understand a word, but Ange explained a bit about what was going on when he could. Something about the girl having gone missing, and everyone trying to find where she was. It gradually worked itself around to her trying to get back from overseas and trying to make her way through Immigration at the airport - this hit a note with most of the people present since they either worked for or were related to someone who worked for, DGIE, who of course are responsible for immigration.

Eventually, representatives of both families were dispatched to inspect the cows - and I believe cows are actually involved! They came back some time later and then someone from each side, dressed in traditional costume, sang about the virtues of the cattle they had just 'inspected'. This was entertaining as it was punctuated by the occasional mooing and other cow-related noises.Then the groom and his men, all dressed in traditional costume, entered and took their places in a smaller marquee in the middle of the yard, between the two families, richly decorated with flowers and rugs.

At this point a troupe of male dancers arrived and did a spectacular dance, followed by a female troupe. Then the bride entered looking stunning in a red and gold outfit. She took a gift of wine to the bride's father (I think this originally would have been milk as milk is a traditional drink in Africa, and if you could afford to give away mile then you must have a lot of cows which means you must be very wealthy).Then she was led to the groom in the bridal marquee and they shared the drink of wine.

Then more dancing and singing. Then after a while they wedding party moved indoors and we all left. Later that evening the bride's family would have hosted a private party. Traditionally it would have been to report back to her family on the results of the negotiation.

The ceremony took nearly two and a half hours - about the standard length I'm told. The wedding ceremony takes several hours, so when the two are held on the same day, you're looking at an all-affair.

Even though we didn't understand the language, everyone's joy was infectious, and both Julie and I felt we'd been part of a very special occasion.

Josiane (who was on workshop 1), Julie and Gladys - all resplendent in their mushananas. Plus Ange